recipes

Week 15 Wrap Up and Monday Night Matchup Menus: Chicago Bears at Minnesota Vikings

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It’s a Brett Chevre running theme:

Brett Favre - QB MIN

Johnny Lox and Goat Cheese Stuffed Matt ForTaters

Matt Forte - RB CHI

Johnny Knox - WR CHI

Visanthe Panko Crusted Goat Cheese and Tomato Salad

Visanthe Schiancoe - TE MIN

and a Guavaris Jaiquirison for the cocktail

Tavaris Jackson - QB MIN

Johnny Lox and Goat Cheese Stuffed Matt ForTaters


Ingredients:
4 oz. smoked salmon, finely chopped (Yes, technically this is not lox, it’s nova; lox is cured and nova is cold-smoked, but I like it better.)
4 oz. soft goat cheese
3 T dill, finely chopped
2 T tarragon, finely chopped
2 T chives, finely chopped
3 T scallions, finely chopped
1 T lemon zest (1 small lemon)
2 T lemon juice (1 small lemon)
12 small potatoes (new or creamers work well)
1 c black sesame seeds
olive oil
salt
pepper

Procedure:
Boil the potatoes until slightly tender, about 15 minutes. Drain and let cool. Slice them in half and scoop out the middle using a melon baller or a paring knife, making them into tiny little bowls. Discard the center (or save for mashed potatoes!). Dip the shells into some olive oil and place skin side down on a foil lined tray. Broil the hollowed potatoes until brown and crisping, about 5-10 minutes. Remove from oven and drain on paper towel lined platter.
In a bowl, combine the smoked salmon, chevre, dill, tarragon, chives, scallions, lemon juice and zest until well incorporated. Scoop a little of the salmon mixture and roll it into a ball. Place the black sesame seeds on a plate. Roll the salmon filling ball in the sesame seeds until nicely covered. Pop the sesame coated salmon ball into a potato shell. Repeat with the rest. Aren’t they cute?!?!

Visanthe Panko Crusted Goat Cheese Salad

Ingredients:
2 oz. chevre log
2 Roma tomatoes, slow roasted
1 Persian cucumber
½ avocado
2 T pea sprouts
1 head frisee
1 T dressing of choice
1 c panko breadcrumbs, seasoned with parley, salt and pepper
1 egg
½ c flour
olive oil

Procedure:
Using unflavored dental floss, cut the goat cheese log into discs ½” thick. Place flour in a bowl. Beat egg with a t of water in another bowl. Place seasoned panko in a third bowl. (You can toast the panko in the oven at 425 for five minutes beforehand to bring out the flavor.) Dip each goat cheese disc into the flour bowl and fully cover. Then dredge it in the egg and then the panko to fully coat. Place coated cheese on a wax paper lined tray. Repeat until all of the goat cheese is coated in the breadcrumbs. Place the wax tray in the freezer for at least 2 hours.
When you’re ready to make the salad, heat some oil in a pan on high heat. Cook the frozen cheese in the oil until browning. Flip and brown the other side. Remove to a paper towel lined plate.
Throw some washed frisee in a bowl. Coat with dressing of choice. Add a few halved roasted tomatoes, sliced and salted cucumber, avocado, and pea shoots. Place the panko coated goat cheese on top. Enjoy!

Guavaris Jaiquirison

Ingredients:
2 oz light rum
1 oz lime juice
1 oz simple syrup
1 oz guava, muddled

Procedure:
Muddle guava in shaker. Add rum, lime juice, and simple syrup. Pour over ice.

Week 15 Wrap Up

And then there was one. Smack and Cheese made it to the GG2FF Su Pa Bo! (Thank you Vick, Nicks, Marshall, and Jets D!)
Fat Sweaters got knocked out by Eat Prey Destroy. (Like I’d have started Garrard over Brady…)

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Ex Latke

/ jordzuck / 1 Comment

I’m a latke girl. Fried potato mixture adorned with any numerous divine trimmings is worth 8 days of presents to me.
So I always try to come up with fun flavors.

Last year, in NYC we had mushroom, triple onion, zucchini/carrot, and goat cheese. This year I made sweet potato/beet, bacon/leek, spinach/ricotta, and butternut squash/cinnamon.

Dear God, the bacon leek latkes were a hit. Just sayin. – JZ

My Hannukah party also happened to coincide with my ex’s (from last year) episode of Millionaire Matchmaker airing on Bravo. So it turned into latke, wine, and screening party. It was a pretty brutal episode. Most people realize that reality TV is still TV, and hence is manipulated to not really be reality. But the poor guy really got a beating. I feel bad.

Here are the recipes for the latkes:

Sweet Potato and Beet Latkes

Sweet Potato Beet Latkes


Ingredients:
3 sweet potatoes (They’re light in color – the orange guys are the yams. Both look like turds to me though. You can’t even take me to the market.)
3 small beets
1 yellow onion
1 c flour
3 eggs
oil
salt
pepper
ice on hand for oil splatter burns (latke making is not for the meek)
Procedure:
Peel the potatoes and the beets. After they’re peeled you can put them in a bowl with water to prevent color change. Shred the potatoes and the beets. Using a Cuisinart is not cheating. I’ve done both ways to humor myself. Cuisinart wins. Throw grated sweet potatoes and beets in a colander. Grate the onion. Add it to the colander. Sprinkle with a ton of salt. Seriously, at least a T, potatoes need salt. Grind some pepper and let it drain for a bit. Whisk the eggs. Squeeze out excess moisture and transfer to a big bowl. Add the eggs and flour and mix everything with your hands until well combined. Pour some oil (I usually use canola) in a fry pan and heat it to high. Spoon a little of the latke batter into the pan and press down with a spatula to form a little pancake. Depending on the size of your pan and the size of your pancakes you can make 2 – 6 at a time. When the under side is starting to brown, flip them over and cook the other side. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate to drain. Serve with plain yogurt or apple sauce. Fine, serve with sour cream too. (These ARE the veggie ones though, just sayin.)

Bacon and Leek Latkes

BACON leek latkes


Ingredients:
4 lbs. potatoes (I use golden russet)
2 lbs. bacon
2 leeks, finely chopped, rinsed and drained
1 yellow onion
½ c chives, finely chopped
1 c flour
3 eggs
oil
salt
pepper
ice on hand for oil splatter burns (latke making is serious business)
Procedure:
Place the bacon strips on a foil lined tray and put in a 425 degree oven for 15 minutes until crispy. Remove from oven, transfer to a paper towel lined plate and crumble. Set aside.
Peel the potatoes. After they’re peeled you can put them in a bowl with water to prevent color change. Shred the potatoes and the onion. Again, using a Cuisinart is not cheating. I’ve done both ways to humor myself. (That’s what she said.) Cuisinart wins. Throw grated potatoes and onions in a colander. Sprinkle with a ton of salt. I don’t measure because I don’t want to know how much I’m using. Ignorance is bliss in this case… Grind some pepper and let it drain for a bit. Whisk the eggs. Squeeze out excess moisture and transfer to a big bowl. Add the bacon, leeks, chives, eggs and flour and mix everything with your hands until well combined. Pour some oil (I usually use canola) in a fry pan and heat it to high. Spoon a little of the latke batter into the pan and press down with a spatula to form a little pancake. Depending on the size of your pan and the size of your pancakes you can make 2 – 6 at a time. When the under side is starting to brown, flip them over and cook the other side. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate to drain. Serve with sour cream. Brag about your bacon latkes.

Spinach Ricotta Latkes

The Spinach Ricotta was the crowd fave


Ingredients:
3 lbs. potatoes (I use golden russet)
1 lb. box of baby spinach, finely chopped
1 8 oz. container of ricotta cheese, drained
1 yellow onion
½ c chives, finely chopped
1 c flour
3 eggs
oil
salt
pepper
ice on hand for oil splatter burns (latke making aint no joke)
Procedure:
Peel the potatoes. After they’re peeled you can put them in a bowl with water to prevent color change. Shred the potatoes and the onion. Do everyone a favor and just use a Cuisinart. Throw grated potatoes and onions in a colander. Sprinkle with a ton of salt. Don’t pay attention to the massive amount you used. Grind some pepper and let it drain for a bit. Whisk the eggs. Squeeze out excess moisture and transfer to a big bowl. Add the spinach, ricotta, eggs and flour and mix everything with your hands until well combined. Pour some oil (I usually use canola) in a fry pan and heat it to high. Spoon a little of the latke batter into the pan and press down with a spatula to form a little pancake. Depending on the size of your pan and the size of your pancakes you can make 2 – 6 at a time. When the under side is starting to brown, flip them over and cook the other side. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate to drain. Serve with any topping that makes you happy.

Butternut Squash Latkes

Butternut Squash Latkes


Ingredients:
2 lbs. potatoes (I use golden russet)
1 butternut squash, peeled and seeded
1 T cinnamon
1 yellow onion
½ c tarragon, finely chopped
1 c flour
3 eggs
oil
salt
pepper
ice on hand for oil splatter burns (latke making at your own risk)
Procedure:
Peel the potatoes. After they’re peeled you can put them in a bowl with water to prevent color change. Shred the potatoes, squash, and the onion. Fine, you’re hard core, use a hand grater. But if you use a Cuisinart, don’t look to me to call you lazy. I try to use equal parts potato/squash. Depending on the size of the squash you may not use all of either one. Throw grated potatoes, squash and onions in a colander. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Use your own judgment on seasoning. Whisk the eggs. Squeeze out excess moisture and transfer to a big bowl. Add the cinnamon, tarragon, eggs and flour and mix everything with your hands until well combined. Pour some oil (I usually use canola) in a fry pan and heat it to high. Spoon a little of the latke batter into the pan and press down with a spatula to form a little pancake. Depending on the size of your pan and the size of your pancakes you can make 2 – 6 at a time. When the under side is starting to brown, flip them over and cook the other side. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate to drain. Serve with chocolate sauce. Kidding. Use what you like.

Monday Night Match Up Menus: Denver Broncos at San Diego Chargers

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OK, I’m somewhat tempted to hop in Oscar (please, everyone should name the car) and head down to SD for the game on Monday, simply because they’re not hosting the Raiders. We’ll see. In the meantime, here’s what we’re cooking up:

Coconut Almond Antonio Dates Darren SpRolls

Darren Sproles - RB SD

Antonio Gates - TE SD

Chopped Chicken Phillip Livers Pate

Phillip Rivers - QB SD

Laurence Macaroni and Cheese

Laurence Maroney - RB DEN

CaraMalcolm Floyd Popcorn

Malcolm Floyd - WR SD

Eddie Kir Royale

Eddie Royal - WR DEN

Coconut Almond Antonio Dates Darren Rolls

Ingredients:
2 c pitted dates (8 oz) – check the pitted ones, the bag I got still had a few lingering in there and jammed up the Cuisinart. No bueno.
1 c shredded coconut
½ c almonds
1 T orange zest (1 orange)
1 t water

Procedure:
Throw all of the ingredients in a food processor and pulse until well combined and slightly clumpy.
Scoop out a heaping teaspoon at a time and shape it into a log.
You can refrigerate them first or just serve room temp. Happy vegan football fans!

Chopped Chicken Phillip Livers Pate

Ingredients:
¼ c olive oil
1 lbs. livers
2 c mushrooms, (I used cremini)
2 T garlic, minced
4 T scallions
3 T bourbon
2 T Shallots
4 T parsley
2 lemons, juiced
6 strips bacon, crumbled
salt
pepper

Procedure:
Clean the livers. There may be a proper way to do this but I just removed the connective tissue with my hands and got messy. Since it was all being thrown in the blender later, I didn’t worry about keeping the shape of the livers intact. SWOOPS* the livers. Cook the bacon well-done and crispy so it easily crumbles and set bacon aside. Add the livers and mushrooms to the pan with the bacon grease and cook on medium high heat for a few minutes. Add the garlic and shallots and stir. Cook another few minutes. Add the bourbon and deglaze the pan.

Once everything is just cooked through, transfer the pan contents to a food processor and add the parsley, scallions, lemon juice, bacon crumbles, salt and pepper, and blend until smooth. Works well with crackers or on top of crostini (toasted sliced SWOOPS baguette.)
*SWOOPS = Season With Olive Oil Pepper and Salt

Laurence Macaroni and Cheese

Ingredients:
1 16 oz box macaroni, any shape you roll with
4 T butter
4 T flour
4 c milk
2 c cheddar
1 cup jack
1 cup parmesan
1 cup goat
1 cup velveeta
4 jalapenos, chopped
1 onion, chopped
2 T garlic, minced
6 strips bacon, crumbled
4 T olive oil
¼ c panko

Procedure:
Preheat the oven to 350. Cook the bacon in a skillet on medium high head until well-done. Drain on paper towel, crumble, and set aside. Saute the onion in some olive oil on med high heat for 2 min. Add the jalapenos and cook another 2 min. Add the garlic and cook another 2 min. Remove from heat and add the bacon. Set aside. In a large pot, cook the pasta in boiling water until al dente. Drain and set aside, (I usually add olive oil so it doesn’t get sticky.) In a large sauce pan melt the butter over medium heat. Add the flour and stir to make a roux. Add the milk gradually and stir until thick and smooth. Stir in the cheeses one by one until melted into the sauce. Add the onions, garlic, jalapenos, and bacon. Stir. Season with salt and pepper. Pour cheese sauce over pasta and mix well. Transfer everything into a baking dish. Top with melted butter or olive oil mixed with panko and some extra cheese if you desire. Spread the crust on top of the dish and bake for about 20 min. Turn broiler on for the last 3-5 minutes to crisp the top. But don’t burn it. Smack and Cheese!

CaraMalcom Floyd Popcorn

Ingredients:
1 c butter
2 c brown sugar
½ c corn syrup
1 t salt
½ t baking soda
1 t vanilla
1 c peanuts
½ t cinnamon
1 T ginger root, minced (my secret ingredient)
¾ c popcorn kernels

Procedure:
Preheat oven to 250. Pop the popcorn on the stove. Heat some oil in a big pot on high. Throw a kernel in there. When it starts to bubble, add all of the kernels and cover the pot, shaking it around occasionally to evenly distribute the heat. You will hear the popping. When the noise dies down, remove the pot from the heat and set aside in a bowl. In a medium pot, melt the butter, brown sugar, and corn syrup over medium high heat. Stir and cook for a few minutes. Add the salt and ginger and stir well. Remove from the heat. Add the baking soda, vanilla, and cinnamon. Stir well to combine. Add the peanuts and stir to combine. Pour the mixture over bowl of popcorn and transfer to a baking sheet (don’t line with foil), in an even layer. Put the sheet in the oven and cook for an hour. Every 15 minutes, remove the sheet and quickly transfer the caramel popcorn to the bowl and then back to the sheet and return to the oven. This will make sure all of the popcorn is evenly coated. (So you do this four times.)

Eddie Kir Royale

Ingredients:
Champagne of choice (At my 32nd bday champagne tasting, the final rankings were: 1) Krug, 2) Cristal, 3) Veuve La Grande Dame, 4) Dom Perignon, 5) Taittinger)
Splash of crème de cassis (a little goes a long way here)

Procedure:
Pour a few drops of the cassis in a champagne flute. Sometimes I toss in whatever berries I have lying around. Top with the bubbly. For added bubbles, sip in a hot tub.

Now Man Up! And Chow Down!!

Monday Night Match Up Menus: Steelers @ Bengals

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You’ve all heard about my Ben RoethlisBURGERS. We’re not doing that this week.

Salad: Romaine Gresham Salad with Tomatillo TerRelish Owens

Jermaine Gresham - TE CIN

Terrell Owens - WR CIN

Side: Hearts of Carson Palmer Slaw

Carson Palmer - QB CIN

Main: RaCharred Mendenhalibut

Rashard Mendenhall - RB PIT

Cocktail: Troy Cosmopolamalutan

Troy Polamalu - S PIT

Romaine Gresham Salad with Tomatillo TerRelish Owens

Ingredients:
1 lb tomatillos, husks removed and halved
1 small red onion, cut in 1″ chunks
3 garlic cloves
1 jalapeno, chopped
¼ c olive oil
½ c flat leaf parsley
1 lime, juiced and zested
celery seed
salt
pepper
2 hearts of romaine

Procedure:
Roast tomatillos, onions, and garlic at 425 for 20 min.

Transfer to food processor and add rest of ingredients.
Blend until desired chunkiness.

Cut each romaine heart lengthwise. SWOOPS* the cut side.
Heat grill pan to med high. Spray with non-stick spray. Grill 1-2 min until charred.

Remove from heat and spoon relish on top.
MMMM!
*SWOOPS = Season With Olive Oil Pepper and Salt

Hearts of Carson Palmer Slaw

Ingredients:
½ green cabbage, shredded
½ purple cabbage, shredded
½ pineapple, julienne
2 mangoes, julienne
6 stalks hearts of palm, julienne
1 bunch scallions, chopped
2 limes, juiced
salt
pepper

Procedure:
You’re welcome to cut the fruit in any shape you desire, but since there’s shredded cabbage involved and it’s a slaw, I like to keep everything relatively uniform in long strips. Combine all of the ingredients in a bowl and TOSS, TOSS, TOSS! (Ya, that’s “TWO-US” in my mother’s world.)

RaCharred Mendenhalibut

Ingredients:
4 halibut steaks (about ½ lb each)
olive oil
salt
pepper

Procedure:
SWOOPS Halibut. (Season With Olive Oil Pepper and Salt) Both sides. Grill on med high heat until charred and just cooked through, about 4 minutes per side. Remove from grill and serve on a bed of the slaw and top with the relish.

Troy Cosmopolamalutan

I forgot to photograph mine before I drank it... here's an example of what it should look like.

Ingredients:
2 oz. vodka
½ lime, juiced
½ oz – splash of cranberry juice
½ oz – splash of Curacao
1 slice of an apple
curly piece of citrus peel

Procedure:
Mix the vodka, lime juice, cranberry juice, and Curacao in a cocktail shaker with ice.
Sift drink without the ice into a martini glass. Don’t spill – Martini glasses are the stilettos of barware: Best looking. Least Functional.
Fork the apple slice into the prongs of a PICK and stick it in the drink. If you own Steelers D, this ceremony increases the chances of a Polamalu pick.
Drink through a CURLY straw. Garnish with a citrus CURL.

Now MAN UP! And CHOW DOWN!!

“Heiry” Mary – Jordan’s Heirloom Tomato Bloody Mary

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I heart heirloom tomatoes. I can eat them like a peach, with a little bit of salt. I also have a huge thing for bloodies. There’s no better way to start off a Sunday morning. (Though, they can go well with day of the week.)

I’m currently writing a cookbook with my mother (working title: One Dish – Four Seasons) where we take a base recipe and adapt it into four versions of the dish, depending on what’s in season at the time. Each dish comes with a recommended wine pairing and suggested music album, with personal stories behind each element along the way.

For the summer tequila cocktail, I made an heirloom tomato version of a Bloody Maria (a Bloody Mary with tequila instead of vodka), called “Heir” of the dog-arita. After all, the bloody is queen of hair of the dog hangover helpers. Stay tuned on when you’ll be able to find it in the book.

In the meantime, here’s a vodka version that made my friend Beansie cry.

“Heiry” Mary (Jordan’s Oven Roasted Heirloom Tomato Bloody Mary)

Yields: 4

Prep Time: 4 hrs.

Total Time: 4 hrs. 15 min.

Ingredients:

8 heirloom tomatoes, slow roasted*

2 garlic cloves, slow roasted*

½ c hearts of palm juice

1 t salt

½ t pepper

2 T horseradish, fresh, grated

1 t Worcestershire sauce

1 T balsamic vinegar

3 T basil, fresh, chopped

2 T jalapenos, fresh, chopped

½ c lemon juice (about 2 lemons)

1 c vodka, chipotle if avail

Procedure:

* To slow roast tomatoes and garlic: Pre-heat oven to 275. Cut tomatoes vertically in half and place on a foil lined baking sheet skin side down. SWOOPS! (Season With Olive Oil, Pepper, and Salt – a ubiquitous step in my cooking, so we gave it an acronym). SWOOPS a few peeled garlic cloves and throw them on the tray as well.  Place in oven and slow roast for about four hours, until tomatoes are starting to shrivel.

Slow Roasted Heirloom Tomatoes and Garlic

Place all of the non-alcoholic ingredients in a blender or processor and blend until smooth (about a minute). If you’re serving immediately, add the vodka to the blender/processor and blend until well combined.  Pour over ice and adjust seasonings to your taste (though it probably won’t need it). You can refrigerate the mix and enjoy it later. You can also adjust the vodka:mix ratio to your liking, or just warn people that they won’t be able to taste the 2 shots of vodka you’re putting in their hands.

There you go! Enjoy!

Beansie and Home Fry go to town on the "Heiry" Mary and "Heir" of the Dogarita