Jordan’s Travel Bible

I want to see the entire world. But that’s not what this is about. I’m bi-coastal, I know the security lady’s name at AA LAX T4 (granted this could happen after one trip). When I check in and they say, “Where to?” I say, “LA or NY, whichever I’m not in right now.” Even when I’m not coast hopping, I’m off checking something out some place else. I’m a traveler. Along the way I’ve gathered some tips, advice, and mantras.

Here they are:
1) Always pack a bikini. It’s not like it doesn’t fit and you never know when you’ll need one.

2) Scan a picture of your passport and email it to a web ready folder (e.g. archives). If something happens to it, all you need is web access anywhere to prove who you are.

3) Take pit stops when you have to go. No one is awarding you anything for holding it in.

4) Maps generally trump navigation systems.

5) It is worth a 2 hr. drive out of the way just to eat some oysters.

6) I don’t understand everyone’s obsession with applauding themselves for packing light. What prize do I get for bringing a small suitcase? Forgetting something and/or not having options? Bring what you need, you’re not backpacking through Europe junior year abroad anymore.

7) It is perfectly acceptable to have the A/C going with the windows down while on a road trip. For me, just the windows is too hot and just the A/C is too cold. It isn’t wasting anything if it perfectly creates the desired climate.

8) I view speeding tickets as a talent tax. I have to pay the government because I’m more skilled at driving than the average joe.

9) Kelly Nishimoto’s Cute Booty line is the ideal airplane attire.

10) “It’s too far” is rarely a valid excuse (relatively). Once you’re in the car, how hard is it to sit there for an extra 20 minutes?

And this is specifically for people traveling with me:

11) Don’t take anything I say personally during my first hour or two of consciousness. I’m not a morning person, never will be. I make up for it later in the day. Promise.


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