Author: jordzuck

Much Ado, about Matthew

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Last night, my friend Brig and I had post football dinner (Advantage LA) at Ado on Main St. It was Van Gough’s Ear when I first moved to town. Then it was something else, then it was Amuse, which was great but closed due to liquor licenses or stairway permits, blah blah blah. Now it’s Ado, pronounced AAAAAH-dough, named after chef Antonio Mure’s partner’s Grandpa from Sicily.
Turns out I’ve been following Antonio around town. He hung out with me and Brig and we closed the place down. I picked up a little on his history in the process.
He started out at Piccolo – where 5 Dudley was.
I went there one year for my bday goals dinner with Matt.
(Now I digress)
Matt is what you’d call “my gay best friend” in layman’s terms. But that implies that I met him out one night being fabulous and we quickly formed a Carrie Bradshaw-Stanford Blatch relationship. This is NOT the case. Matt is actually one of my closest friends. His mother was my first grade teacher, I was a year behind him in school. I was her favorite student and since she’s reading this and that’s undiplomatic of me to say, I’ll rephrase. She was overwhelmingly impressed with my feat of winning the bookworm contest by half a classroom length, (aka landslide), and thus began a lovely relationship of mutual respect and admiration. Matt and I both did plays, GIA (government in action), and SGA (student government action), (Yes, hi, I’m a nerd.) in high school. We both went to Penn, and we both then moved out to LA. He was the only person I knew when I moved out here. I see it too, we’ve lived eerily parallel lives.  So he’s basically one of my best friends, who happens to be gay. (a slight variation of my gay best friend…) We also both have January birthdays.
So we started a tradition of doing a birthday dinner. We pick a hot new place to dine and go out for a meal and each treat the other. Which means we split the bill as if it were any other night out, but it’s cuter this way. Matt came up with the idea to do “goals” at each dinner, so starting in 2000, we brought paper, envelopes, and pens each year. We listed goals we wished to set out to accomplish by the end of the year, sealed them up in an envelope, and then opened the envelope from the previous year and checked off what was achieved. Sometimes we’d give each other freebies, just to boost our ego being able to cross one off. e.g. I listed “Scan goals in case there’s a fire.” and it seriously took me until the night before we had our next dinner to get them in. But I did it!
Incidentally I embarrass Matt EVERY time we go out, bday dinner or otherwise. At Piccolo I believe there was an incident where I was sharing desserts with one of the four other tables in the tiny restaurant and the whole place was singing to us come candle time. Amazing meal.
Then at La Botte there was controversy over how much wine to order (a bottle to split, right??!) And I succumbed to Matt’s protest and ordered a half bottle, only to open up my envelope from last year and look at goal #1. DO NOT LET MATT TALK YOU INTO ONLY ORDERING A HALF BOTTLE OF WINE!!! IT’S NOT ENOUGH!!! I couldn’t cross that one off, but it was worth it for the fifteen minutes of hysterics it sent us in when I read it aloud. CLASSIC, no? Fab Italian, again, but the cozy ambiance of Piccolo wasn’t as strong.
Anyway, last night I had dinner plans with a girlfriend (yes, Brig, if you’re following) after watching football on the Colston Couch (only people who own Marques Colston in their fantasy football leagues can sit on it during football). I had been wanting to try Ado for a while so we met there at 9pm. It was winding down, but we sat downstairs and it was the intimate environment we were craving. Conversations with the neighboring tables, (Brig was supposed to meet the people next to us some how…) closing the place down, hanging with the chef, finishing up his Passito (Italian dessert wine) and Pastiera Nopolitana (ridiculous ricotta dessert with orange blossom water) with him before we all headed home, and a delicious meal. My ideal evening. Thanks, Antonio!!

Antonio and Jordan enjoy the Passito

Monday Night Match Up Menus: Tennessee Titans at Jacksonville Jaguars

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This Monday, the division rival party is in northern Florida (but southern USA) as the Jacksonville Jaguars host fellow below Mason/Dixon liners, the Tennessee Titans.
Our menu is as follows:
First Down: David Garrartichoke Dip – what’s football without a dip?

Second Down: Blueberry Blintze Young – my favorite named dish. I’m as proud of that one as I am of a 119 pt. word in words with friends.

Third Down: Chocolate Fig Apple Chrisp Johnson – This one’s really cool because each Chris Johnson run burns the calories off of this dish. Sweet, right?

Fourth Down: Mike Pimms Cup Walker – toast and catch a high ball.

David Garrartichoke Dip:

David Garrartichoke Dip

Ingredients:
1 clove garlic, chopped
1 onion, chopped
2 cans (14 oz each) artichoke hearts, chopped
6 oz cream cheese
1/3 c sour cream
1/3 c mayonnaise
½ c Parmesan, grated
½ t red pepper flakes
2 T parsley, chopped
2 T oregano, chopped
salt
pepper

 

Procedure:
Preheat oven to 375.
Saute onions and garlic until translucent.
Combine with the rest of ingredients in a big bowl and pour mixture into a greased baking dish.
Bake until bubbly (about 20 min).
Serve warm with chips of choice.

COMPLETION!!

Bluberry Blintze Young

You ready to tackle the Blintze Young? You wanna Blitz the Blintze? OK, I’ll stop. This blintze is going to be well covered. One more, C’mon!

Crepe Batter
Ingredients:
1 c milk
4 T cold water
2 eggs
1 c all-purpose flour
1 T sugar
¼ t salt
¼ c unsalted butter, melted

Directions:
Combine the milk, water, eggs, flour, sugar, and salt in a blender. Blend until smooth. Add butter and blend it to incorporate. Refrigerate the batter for at least 1 hour to let it rest. I usually let it sit over night.

The crepe is flipped

Put an 10-inch crepe pan or nonstick skillet over medium heat and brush with a little melted butter. Pour a ladle full of batter into the pan and tilt the pan around so there is an even layer of the batter, (a method I call “pinball pan batter”). Cook for 30 to 45 seconds, until the batter sets. Flip the crepe. If you have time, you can practice flipping just with a HAIL MARY! flick of the pan. Or, if you’re Farve and you’re afraid you’ll just throw a pick, use a spatula. If you slide a spatula underneath (centrally), lift, and twist it 180 quickly, it should fall evenly pan in the pan. The crepes should be floppy, not crispy, and just browning. Slide them onto a platter and continue making the crepes until all the batter is used. (This makes about 8 crepes.)

Cheese Filling
Ingredients:
10 oz. ricotta cheese (fresh is better – much smoother consistency, the grocery store ones get grainy)
4 oz. cream cheese
3 T sugar
1 lemon, zested and finely grated
2 T butter, melted
1 egg

Procedure:
In a food processor, combine all ingredients. Chill the filling for about an hour to firm it up. (I make it the night before with the batter…)

Blueberry Sauce
Ingredients:
2 T butter
2 pints blueberries
½ c sugar
1 t cornstarch
1 lemon, juiced
½ t vanilla extract

Procedure:
Combine the butter, blueberries, sugar, cornstarch, and lemon juice in a small pot over medium-high heat. Bring up to a low boil and stir gently until the berries break down but are still chunky. Let it cool to thicken up.

Assembly:
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Forming the blintzes is kind of like making mini wraps or burritos.
Spoon 2 T (heaping) of the cheese filling at the part of the crepe closest to you.

Fold the bottom edge away from you to just cover the filling; then fold the 2 sides in to the center.

Roll the crepe away from you a couple of times to make a cute little log package.

Place blintzes in a baking dish and bake for 10 min.

Spoon the blueberry sauce on top. I personally think powdered sugar is for pussies, but it’s your blintze, put whatever you want on top.
Look at you, you’ve sacked the Blintze Young!

Blueberry Blintze Young

Chocolate Fig Apple Crisp

Titans RB Chris Johnson who averaged as the #1 draft pick has been quietly showing up to work and leading the league with 6 rushing touchdowns through the first five games.
In other news, strawberry season is over. The carton I bought yesterday turned moldy on the way home from the Whole Foods just down the block.
It’s football season, people, get to know and love the fig.

Chocolate Fig Apple Chrisp Johnson


Ingredients:
5 oz white chocolate chunks (I used a serrated knife on a block of chocolate)
5 oz milk chocolate chunks (same method, hi.)
12 oz (two boxes) black mission figs
2 sweet apples, cubed
1 ½ t tapioca, granulated
1 lemon, juiced
1 T lemon zest
pinch of salt
½ c white sugar
¾ c brown sugar
1 ½ c all purpose flour
½ c almond flour*
1 ¾ sticks butter, frozen (in small pieces – cut into T and then cut into 9 little ¼ “ pieces or so)
1 t almond extract

Procedure:
Preheat oven to 375.
In a 9 x 12 baking pan, add chocolate, fruit, tapioca, lemon juice, ¼ c sugar, and lemon zest. TOSS! Make sure all contents are evenly distributed.
Place sugars and flours and extract into a food processor and pulse until well combined. Add ½ of the butter pieces and pulse about ten times. Repeat with the rest of the butter until the dough is forming. If it is too dry, add a t of water.
Spread the dough on top of the berry mixture in the pan.
PLEASE PUT 30 MIN ON THE CLOCK!!
Bake on center rack for 30-35 minutes. The crumb should be golden brown and the berries should be bubbling. Remove from oven and let cool for about 15 minutes. Can be served hot or cold. You may want to add a cream to it (heavy, ice, whipped, etc.) or some yogurt when serving.
* To make almond four: grind 1 c whole raw almonds in a food processor until a grainy flour like consistency is obtained.

SCORE!!

Mike Pimms Cup Walker

Mike Pimms Cup Walker

Ingredients:
2 oz. Pimms
1 t lemon juice
½ Persian cucumber, par peeled (leaving a few stripes of green skin) and sliced into discs
splash Ginger Beer (NOT ginger ale! Cough, amateur!)
Apple garnish optional

Procedure:
Muddle the cucumbers in a high ball. (HOW on earth, did I live my life without a muddler until this year?!?!)
Squeeze in the lemon. Add ice. Add Pimms. Top with ginger beer. Stir. Garnish. Drink. Win.

Now MAN UP, AND CHOW DOWN!

Monday Night Match Up Menus on GG2FF (Patriots @ Dolphins)

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Here are the recipes from this past week’s Monday Night Match Up Menus on GG2FF.

TOMato Bready

Topping with TOMatoes

Ingredients:
1 packet of yeast
1 c warm water
2 1/2 c flour (approx.)
1 t honey (because the yeast feeds on sugar)
1 t salt
1/2 c olive oil
2 T fresh rosemary, chopped
cornmeal
4 heirloom tomatoes, sliced
2 T fresh basil, chopped
3 garlic cloves, chopped

Procedure:
Preheat oven to 425. In a glass cup, add the yeast, warm water, and honey, and stir until the yeast dissolves. Let it sit a minute or two. In a large bowl, add half the olive oil, salt, and 1/2 c flour. Then add yeast mixture and stir with a wooden spoon vigorously until combined. Slowly add flour, half cup at a time, until dough is formed and ready (not sticky). You may not use all of the flour. It varies every time depending on many things such as humidity. Wash bowl. Add 1 T olive oil. Put dough in a ball and coat it. Cover bowl with a dish towel. Let dough rest and rise for at least 30 minutes. Punch it down.
Sprinkle cornmeal onto a baking sheet and press dough into it until thin.
Spread olive oil over top.
Sprinkle with garlic.
Place a layer of tomatoes on top to cover the dough, but leave a “crust” around edges.
SWOOPS! (Season With Olive Oil Pepper and Salt)
Bake for 20-25 minutes until pizza crust is golden and tomatoes are slightly shriveled.
See! Now you’re all hard-core bakers and bread makers!

TOMato Bready out of the oven

Bill BeliChicken Parmesan

Ingredients:
4 chicken breasts, skinless, boneless
½ c flour
2 large eggs
1 T water
1 c breadcrumbs
½ c parsley
¼ c oregano, chopped
¼ c rosemary, chopped
¼ c basil, chopped
8 oz ball of mozzerella cheese, sliced
8 oz burrata cheese, sliced
1 1/2 c parm, grated
4 c my 12 –min tomato sauce (or any genius tomato sauce)
olive oil
salt
pepper

Procedure:
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.
Put the chicken breasts side by side on a flat surface (e.g. cutting board or counter), and place between two sheets of plastic wrap. Pound the chicken breasts with a meat tenderizer (or the back of a cast iron pan if you don’t have one) until they are about 1/2-inch thick. Put the flour in a shallow bowl and season with a fair amount of salt and pepper; mix with a fork to distribute evenly. In another wide bowl, combine the eggs and water and beat until frothy. Put the breadcrumbs in a third bowl season with salt and pepper, ¼ c parmesan, and the herbs (parsley, oregano, rosemary, basil) and mix.
Heat 3 tablespoons of olive oil in a skillet over medium-high. Now we go wet-dry-wet-dry. Lightly dredge both sides of the wet chicken cutlets in the dry seasoned flour. Shake off excess flour. Then dip them in the wet egg wash to coat completely, again letting the excess drip off. Then dredge in the dry seasoned bread crumbs. When the oil is nice and hot, add the cutlets and fry for 4-5 minutes on each side until golden and crusty, flipping once.
While the chicken is getting crisp, put a layer of tomato sauce in a baking dish.
Place chicken in a baking pan over the sauce.
Do another layer of the tomato sauce over the chicken.
Sprinkle a layer of parmesan cheese.
Then a layer of mozzarella and burrata.
Bake the Chicken Parmesan for 20 minutes or until the cheese is bubbly.

Bill Belichicken Parm

Chad Penne Pasta Salad

Assembling the Chad Penne Pasta Salad

Ingredients:
1 box penne pasta
4 c chopped tomatoes
1 1/2 c scallions
2 cup carrots, chopped
6 oz. spinach leaves
1 c Smoked gouda, cubed
salt
pepper
olive oil
lemon juice

Procedure:
Cook pasta, drain. Combine with all other ingredients and TOSS! (One of my favorite activities is making fun of my mother’s NY accent. “Toss” is one of her best. She pronounces is like the number 2, plus “us.” TWO-US!

TOSS TOSS TOSS!!

Tequila Lime Rickey Williams
I feel like I should be using a pot leaf to garnish this drink, but that joke is so two years ago.

Ingredients:
6 grapes, halved, muddled
2 T lime juice
2 oz. tequila, good, silver
club soda, splash

Procedure:
In a high ball, add and muddle the grapes. Then add the lime juice and fill the glass with ice. Add the tequila and a splash of soda.
Stir, stir, stir. Enjoy!

Not Ricky's most famous form of self-medication...

The Table at the Arclight

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I’ve mentioned that the Arclight is my go-to movie theater in LA.
What I haven’t mentioned is that it’s my go-to theater ALBEIT the bathroom hooks that I need a step stool or a black Achilles heel to reach. #femalebathroomsclearlydesignedbymen.
Anyway, I went to see The Social Network last night with a fellow Sorkin fan. We already wanted to see the movie over again after the opening scene. I, predictably, was equipped with a bottle of vino. This time I brought a Cabernet Sauvignon from Sonoma called The Table.

Thumbs up for the movie, the wine, and the company.

Hollywood Palladium, I tried to stay away…

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We all have our favorite magical venues. On the other hand, there are the nightmare venues only offering memories of terrible nights and bad energy experiences. The Hollywood Palladium holds the prize for worst venue in LA. After two tries, both rendering it Sketchville, USA, I swore I’d never go back.
In 1999, my dear friend Alex and I ventured out to try to go see an unannounced Prince show there. Tickets were $75 for face and they were never on sale to the public. We found a guy selling them for $100 outside the venue and went to stand in line to enter. The whole scene was shady but we felt like we had to try it. The usher took one look at our tickets and deemed them fakes. There was no way I was about to leave after coughing up a Franklin for these. Alex was so pissed off she just wanted to split. But I stood ground, and apparently was in the way of the VIP line. I told the guy working VIP the situation and he literally laughed in our faces. (He ultimately wound us letting us in and Alex and I fed parking meters and paid back whatever good karma we could think of for months. But still, it was an unsettling experience at first.)
The second time was for an Oysterhead Halloween show. It was just 6 weeks after 9/11 and when security was starting to go into agro overdrive. And it was unusually heightened at this place. I was in a Wonder Woman costume which basically meant I was in a one piece bathing suit and boots. Now everyone think back to pre 9/11 when our purses were sacred privacy. So I, of course, was walking around with a bag of bud, a glass pipe, and a bag of boomers in my purse. People were being strip searched and having innocuous belongings like their lip liners confiscated because “You could stab someone with them,” and hence they were considered weapons. Really, people?!?! I could do more damage with my fist and I have zero upper body strength. I did manage to get in, mostly because I’m talented, and also because I sacrificed my old camera to the bushes. People were abandoning their belt buckles, throwing them and hundreds of other “hazardous materials” behind the building shrubbery. It was like Christmas that day for the homeless of Hollywood. Needless to say the entire audience was frazzled and violated upon entry to the poorly laid out establishment. I’ll put money that anyone who was there would list it in their five worst show experiences, (except for this guy…).
Cut to nearly 9 years later, (that’s today). Blame it on Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (shot there and I loved that show), blame it on the renovations (didn’t do anything for the layout, but the sound and paint job showed small signs of improvement, at least), or blame it on me going softer with age, I returned last night for The Black Keys. And I’ve lived to tell the tale.

The Story of Mr. Weemit

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Since the TV fall premieres are taking over my social life, I’m adding a post from the past.
Here’s a story I had sent my girlfriends this past March.

Friday night I wound up at Brooklyn Bowl for the Derek/Susan Bowlive sit-in.
As one would expect, mama was accompanied by an icy cold glass of tequila rocks.
I rested said glass on a case of bowling balls, only to turn around two seconds later to find a gentleman sitting right where the beloved tequila had been residing.
“Excuse me, I think you’re sitting on my tequila,” said I.
The gentleman stood up, revealing my toppled, spilled glass wedged in the crack against the cushy lane seats.
“Let me replace that for you,” said the dark gentleman.
“No,” said I, quickly grabbing the glass and throwing the dripping remains down my throat, “That’s OK, I’m already drunk enough.”
“Well, then let me replace it for you another time,” pleaded the gentleman.

Apparently I gave him my number because he called me the next day. Not recognizing the number, I let the call go to voicemail.
We spoke on Sunday and made plans for Monday evening to go see The Allman Bros at The United Palace Theatre. He called himself Robert.

Sunday evening I was out having a few glasses of the brown stuff (after all, it was rainy) with my friend Tiffany. Surveying the circumstances of my next evening activity, dear Tiff inquired, “What’s this Robert’s last name?”
“An excellent question!” I retorted, “I couldn’t make out what he said on my machine, (a term I still use to refer to my voicemail). Here, you listen and tell me what you think he’s saying.”
I played back his message and handed her the phone.
“HA!” she said, “He didn’t say his last name, Jordan! He said, ‘Hi, it’s Robert, WE MET at the Brooklyn Bowl last night.’!!!”
So from here on out, we will be calling him Mr. Robert Weemit. Admittedly, my vision is far superior to my hearing.

The date was OK. He’s attractive (but I didn’t find myself resisting urge to rip off his clothes, or even throw him against the wall and kiss him like he’d never been kissed before), generous (those Allman tix don’t grow on trees), polite (but almost too much, I felt like I shouldn’t be cursing around him… which is limiting as certain colored words in my vocabulary make for such excellent emphasis), smart (he programs digital mapping, like google maps, but for the police dept.), and likes music (this helps). However, there was no spark, and the conversation was so canned, I felt like he had recently read an article in guy cosmo on “what to say on a date.” He kept hounding me with questions, firing them off one after the other before I’d even had the chance to finish the first one, and without having any of my responses lead to further discussion or sharing his answer to the topic.
I think the poor guy thought he had scored first row tix (they were avail that day actually) as he wanted our seats to be a surprise, and then hesitated a little when he saw the first 15 rows were double letters. We were in row A. “Row A!” I exclaimed, “This is the best sound in the house! Look, we’re dead center and right next to the soundboard!”
The Allmans rocked it. Mama got her “The Weight” (that Warren sure can sing ANYTHING!!), “Jessica” (best driving song evs), and “You Don’t Love Me” (in my top five for sure!)
After the show, we tumbled out onto 175th St and headed to the subway (passing the Jesus Deli, Jesus Hardware, Jesus Bar, and We love Jesus Rite-Aid.)
I gave him a peck on the cheek and thanked him as the A train rolled into the 96th st. stop before darting out to catch a cab across the park. He was continuing on to Penn Station to catch LIRR to Mineola, the Nassau county seat.
I also sent him a thank you text later that week after the Bijou* craziness had subsided a bit. (*My dog had died suddenly the next day.)

Since then I’ve gotten random “Hi, Jordan, how are you?” texts. But predictably, none of my responses have triggered anything more than small talk (if it could even qualify as that…).

And that brings us current with the story of Mr. Weemit.

Muah,
Moi

Discussing Mr. Weemit at Girls Night at Salt

Motorino – East Village

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Gnarly Dudes in Flip Flops

The weatherman apparently heard that the Stuy town movie on Thursday was Ghostbusters, as the tornado hit like the gatekeeper had actually met the keymaster… It was quick, and on the UES, painless (though Queens can’t boast the same). However, it didn’t make for a lovely, dry, movie night on the lawn. So I opened a bottle of Two Hands Gnarly Dudes with some friends and moved the evening indoors.

On to the dinner portion of the evening… When we went to try Momofuku Noodle Bar and faced an hour and a half wait, I wished I hadn’t canceled our late resie at Peasant. But it turned out OK as Motorino was right around the corner, on my list to try, and could seat us in 10 minutes.
While we were waiting, a girl sitting at the open window table, turned to face the street and puked all over the side walk. Twice. The party then got up and left. The restaurant cleared the table and welcomed us to it. I explained what had happened and requested a hose down of the adjacent street. Apparently she had just done a number on the bathroom as well. Once they finished cleaning that, the sidewalk was next.

Yes I Can Get a Hose Down!


The pizza was awesome. Doughy but thin crust with a little char. The octopus app was delish, the meatball was OK. I got the Brussels Sprouts Pizza. MMm MMMm MMMm. And our bottle of red was packed with nice fruit and a few questionable decisions. Thanks Motorino!

The Joe Tacco Bar – Ravens/Jets MNF Match Up Menu

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Every week for Girls Guide, I am putting together a meal based on the teams in the Monday Night Football game. Here is the Week 1 Menu!

Monday Match-Up Menu

The Joe Tacco Bar
Ray Rice and Beans
Joe Guacco-mole
Mark Sancheese Dip
Pronn Green Chile

MNF Ravens/Jets Meal

Ray Rice and Beans
Ingredients:
1 T olive oil
1 onion, finely chopped
1 cloves garlic, large, minced
1 c uncooked white rice
1 1/2 c chicken broth
1 bay leaf
2 cans canned black beans, drained
2 tomatoes, diced, salted (always)
salt
pepper
Procedure:
In a stockpot heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the onion and saute until translucent, about 4 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for another minute. Add the rice and cook for about 2 minutes more.  Add the broth and bay leaf and bring to a boil. Cover, lower the heat to low, and simmer for 20 minutes. Add seasoning, black beans, and tomatoes. Stir.

Ray Rice and Beans

Prawn Greene Chile
Ingredients:
1 lb shrimp, peeled and cleaned
1 T olive oil
1/2 c half and half
2 poblano pepper, roasted, peeled, seeded, and chopped
2 limes, juice and zest
2 oz. tequila, silver
salt
pepper
Procedure:
Heat the oil in a pan over medium high. Add the chopped peppers. Stir in the tequila, lime juice, zest, and cream. Stir until the sauce thickens. SWOOPS the shrimp and add to pan. Cook for a few minutes and flip. Do not over cook the shrimp. Do not fumble the shrimp. Do not look at your opponent who owns Ray Rice.

Pronn Greene Chile

Mark Sancheese Dip
Bobby Flay taught me how to make this when I was his guest last year on Grill It! (But I’m using poblanos and he used Anaheims)
Ingredients:
3 T butter
3 T flour
1 c milk
1 1/2 c monterey jack cheese, shredded
1 c goat cheese, soft
2 poblano peppers, roasted, peeled, seeded, and chopped
2 scallions, chopped
Procedure:
In a cast iron skillet, make a roux by melting the butter and stirring in the flour. Then add the milk and whisk until smooth.  Remove from heat and mix in the jack cheese. Then mix in the goat cheese, peppers and scallions. Return to the stove to heat up again and whisk a little more. You’re done. Dive in!

Mark Sancheese Dip (Queso Fundito)

Joe Guaccomole
Ingredients
3 avocados (pick a nice one, not to firm, not too mushy)
3 roma tomatoes, diced and salted
1 jalapeno, minced
1 garlic clove, minced
1 lime, juiced
salt
pepper
Procedure
Add the chopped, salted tomatoes to a bowl. Add the garlic and jalapeno and mix together. Dice up the avocado and add it to the bowl in 1/2 inch chunk. Mix together with a fork but don’t mash. Add the lime juice, salt and pepper. Mix again so the avocado starts to mush a bit but still has some chunkiness to it. Let sit for at least a half hour to allow the flavors to get to know each other. Easy, right? Guac was my first attempt at cooking ten years ago. Home run at first bat!

Joe Guaccomole

Katie, Melissa, Jordan, and Louie at MNF

North Fork Bachelorette

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For the life of me, I couldn’t fall asleep last Friday night. I had just rocked out to the Sister Sparrow and Orgone sets at Sullivan Hall and decided to head home at around 1:30am to make sure I got a decent amount of sleep. There was not an available taxi in sight in the area and after waiting over 30 minutes and wandering around with my arm in the air trying different corners (what?), I stumbled upon the 6 train and decided to go the subway route. By 3am I had made it to the Upper East Side, only for my body to fight in protest that we had flown 3,000 miles west, not east, and refuse slumber. So when my alarm went off at 8:00am granting me enough time to take care of Louie’s 14 year old puppy routine and pack for the weekend, I had to mind alpha my body and take charge of this east coast time zone.
Only five minutes late, but still the last one there, (sometimes I like arriving alphabetically), I met up with the girls at our mid town limo pick up location. Mike, chauffeur extraordinaire, from Crossroads Limousine was about to take seven sassy women on a Long Island Vineyard Tour for a bachelorette. So we cruised across Long Island, blasting Billy Joel, and venturing to explore the grape world of the North Fork.
It was a glorious day, weather wise, company wise, activity wise, etc. But to be honest, none of the wines were that memorable or dazzling. The whites definitely outshone the reds, but nothing I wanted to take home with me (and I’m usually so much easier with wine than with men, wait… I’m not.)

Jason's

Our first stop was Jason’s. There was another bachelorette party of 20 + girls all seemingly under the age of 25, and all in pink custom printed tops. Immediately upon entering I exclaimed, “Crap, Lauren! We forgot your penis hat!” No one was rattled, mostly because there was no such hat left behind. This was the one stop where we didn’t get to taste all of the wines, which I didn’t like. What if I missed the one I’d want to buy? Give me a sip of each, please! I think the winner here was the Reisling. I was the only one who could handle the Merlot; it was smoky, like mama takes her scotch, so I didn’t mind so much. Anyway, onward to stop #2.

Macari

Second stop was Macari. These were some of the best of the bunch. I actually wasn’t completely turned off by their Chardonnay. (I’m an ABC – “Anything But Chard,” but I’ll always try it just in case…) Not surprisingly, their first chard had a splash of Sauv Blanc in there. This helps.
At one point I turned to Lauren and said, “Look at that cute old man with his pants up to his boobs.”
Lauren (who’s possibly my funniest friend) responds, “That guy has proprietor written all over him.”
Mr. Macari sure does keep his ribs warm.

Laurel

The third stop was Laurel Lake where we had lunch that was pre-ordered through the tour. The lunch was crap, next time I’ll pack a picnic basket for everyone, but we had to include some solids in the diet for sustainability purposes. This stop had the best staff and a really low key vibe. The guys always made sure we had wine in our cups and weren’t at all stingy on the pours.
They also had a musician doing a little acoustic set.
“Hey Liza! Play something that doesn’t have lyrics involving someone wanting to die,” we requested.
“Oh, you girls just missed the happy set.”

Osprey's Dominion

Refueled with some carbs and ready for the second leg, Mike safely deposited us at Osprey’s next. We had to shut off my iPod with The Greyboy Allstars cranked up in the limo and subject ourselves to what seemed to be a Kenny G cover band in the mid-lawn pagoda at this one, but we managed to enjoy ourselves. (Actually, it was beautiful.) I pulled out a move from my 21st bday (when people were buying me more shots than I could handle and I’d cheers them and throw the booze over my shoulder instead of down my throat. “Jordan, we can see you do that!” they said. “What, I’m pacing myself!” I retorted,) and tossed some of the samples on the lawn at this one. First of all, drinking all day requires skill, if it wasn’t worth drinking, I won’t do it. Second, the other wineries had dump buckets, the lawn was just asking for it!

Pindar for Magic Hour

Since Mike was mistakenly under the impression he was taking us back to the city, when he learned he was leaving us at our hotel in Riverhead, we decided to add an extra stop, Pindar. This one had the best wines yet (or maybe our buds were failing us at this point, can’t be sure.) But we got a bottle of the Sauvignon Blanc and a bottle of the bubbly and went out back to enjoy the Magic Hour with the vines.

Our accommodations for the evening were at The Hotel Indigo, a cute boutique hotel with pretty nice rooms, comfy beds, a pool, and a painfully slow restaurant. I seriously wound up having to eat my eggs benedict (which wasn’t even what I ordered) out of a to go box at the Jitney bus stop Sunday morning on my way to make it back to the city for first football Sunday kickoff.
After a dip in the pool and a shower, we pulled it together and got in a $10/pp (what is this, New Orleans during jazzfest!?!?) cab ride to Amarelle in Wading River.
Great choice. Dinner was lovely. My fresh strawberry cosmo made me forget I don’t go for girly drinks. And the Pinot Noir was the best red we’d had all day (2008 Fin, Finnegan’s Lake, CA). Lauren and I split the lobster crepe (Mmmm) and seared scallops with crispy leeks (good). She didn’t touch my clams because of the bacon sprinkle (best part!), and I wasn’t the hugest fan of her fluke (insert your own “kitchen fluke” joke here). All in all, the perfect end to a perfect day.
Cheers, Lauren!
Cheers, North Fork!

Bay Cities, Longboard Red, and Dr. John at the Pier

/ jordzuck / 3 Comments

My favorite time of day is called “The Magic Hour,” (aka The Golden Hour for its photographic offerings). It’s the hour right before sunset (so about the last hour of daylight.) The sun is low and lights up the air with warm orange tones. I originally thought of calling it “The Laughternoon” because it was the late-afternoon (well, in January at least), but it seemed like a misnomer to me. For although it brings on a natural high, it’s not really a giddy high. It’s more peaceful and beautiful. I think I’m going to take a picture for a photo journal every day during this time. (We’ll see how I do with that one…)
Yesterday I wound up on the beach just south of the Santa Monica Pier during The Magic Hour. We were setting up for this season’s final Thursday Night Twilight Dance Series with New Orleans legend Dr. John headlining. A few tapestries, sheets, and blankets spread out on the beach, plus a bunch of surrounding votive candles in sand filled paper bags created our little lantern village.

Setting up "Lantern Village" at the pier.

Large Godmother. Works. No pickles.

I had made a stop at Bay Cities Italian Deli, a Los Angeles landmark. I had a friend in from NY that was joining us. Any time I have an out of towner visiting I usually insist that they don’t leave with out having a Bay Cities sammie (or In N Out, but who’s still late for the train on that one?) The go-to order is The Godmother. If I’m “watching my figure” I’ll go with a turkey. But as my friend Mike’s declared, “I’d eat a turd sandwich on THAT bread!” You really can’t go wrong. As a pseudo bi-coastal girl, I often am faced with the “Which city do you like better?” question (NY vs. LA), which I staunchly refuse to answer. But I’m compiling a list of assets for each. It’s a pretty well balanced list. Bay Cities = Advantage LA.

I was not the only one to try this!

While I was browsing the deli aisles, I also grabbed a bottle of the Point Break red blend from Longboard Vineyards. This was our one stop the last time I was up in Sonoma for my friend Megan’s 30th bday dinner at Cyrus. The winery is owned by surfers and their tastings are a blast. A fellow taster was a man donned in polka dot trousers. One Cabernet in and I, of course, was asking if I could play Twister on his pants. We also were making friends with the staff, naming the Syrah “The Jewish” one… because it had a big nose, etc. Not surprisingly, our whole party didn’t even make it through the caviar course at dinner. We thankfully had the rental van parked right outside on North St. for him to snooze in. Clearly, this was the bottle I was choosing from the Bay Cities selection.

Langer's first Godmother experience

Whit's Bahn Mi Sammie (SANS CILANTRO for mama!)

Whit also brought fixings for Vietnamese Bahn Mi Sandwiches. I went to visit some other friends and hang with their kids when he broke out the cilantro.

Whit’s Bahn Mi:

Meatballs:
– 1/2 lb ground pork
– 2 t garlic, chopped
– 2 t green onion, chopped
– 1 T chinese 5 spice
– salt/pepper to taste
– Mix everything together. Form into little 1-2″ balls. Bake for 8 min. in a 400 deg oven. Turn. Bake another 7-8 min. until brown. Remove, cool, and slice in half.
Sandwich:
– 1 french bagutte
– roman lettuce
– kimchi
– sliced/diced carrots
– chopped green onion
– spicy mayo (2 parts mayo, 1 part sriracha)
– chopped cilantro (optional) (NOOOOOOO!!!!!)
– assemble as desired.