Cocktails (Drinks)

Monday Night Match Up Menus: Denver Broncos at San Diego Chargers

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OK, I’m somewhat tempted to hop in Oscar (please, everyone should name the car) and head down to SD for the game on Monday, simply because they’re not hosting the Raiders. We’ll see. In the meantime, here’s what we’re cooking up:

Coconut Almond Antonio Dates Darren SpRolls

Darren Sproles - RB SD

Antonio Gates - TE SD

Chopped Chicken Phillip Livers Pate

Phillip Rivers - QB SD

Laurence Macaroni and Cheese

Laurence Maroney - RB DEN

CaraMalcolm Floyd Popcorn

Malcolm Floyd - WR SD

Eddie Kir Royale

Eddie Royal - WR DEN

Coconut Almond Antonio Dates Darren Rolls

Ingredients:
2 c pitted dates (8 oz) – check the pitted ones, the bag I got still had a few lingering in there and jammed up the Cuisinart. No bueno.
1 c shredded coconut
½ c almonds
1 T orange zest (1 orange)
1 t water

Procedure:
Throw all of the ingredients in a food processor and pulse until well combined and slightly clumpy.
Scoop out a heaping teaspoon at a time and shape it into a log.
You can refrigerate them first or just serve room temp. Happy vegan football fans!

Chopped Chicken Phillip Livers Pate

Ingredients:
¼ c olive oil
1 lbs. livers
2 c mushrooms, (I used cremini)
2 T garlic, minced
4 T scallions
3 T bourbon
2 T Shallots
4 T parsley
2 lemons, juiced
6 strips bacon, crumbled
salt
pepper

Procedure:
Clean the livers. There may be a proper way to do this but I just removed the connective tissue with my hands and got messy. Since it was all being thrown in the blender later, I didn’t worry about keeping the shape of the livers intact. SWOOPS* the livers. Cook the bacon well-done and crispy so it easily crumbles and set bacon aside. Add the livers and mushrooms to the pan with the bacon grease and cook on medium high heat for a few minutes. Add the garlic and shallots and stir. Cook another few minutes. Add the bourbon and deglaze the pan.

Once everything is just cooked through, transfer the pan contents to a food processor and add the parsley, scallions, lemon juice, bacon crumbles, salt and pepper, and blend until smooth. Works well with crackers or on top of crostini (toasted sliced SWOOPS baguette.)
*SWOOPS = Season With Olive Oil Pepper and Salt

Laurence Macaroni and Cheese

Ingredients:
1 16 oz box macaroni, any shape you roll with
4 T butter
4 T flour
4 c milk
2 c cheddar
1 cup jack
1 cup parmesan
1 cup goat
1 cup velveeta
4 jalapenos, chopped
1 onion, chopped
2 T garlic, minced
6 strips bacon, crumbled
4 T olive oil
¼ c panko

Procedure:
Preheat the oven to 350. Cook the bacon in a skillet on medium high head until well-done. Drain on paper towel, crumble, and set aside. Saute the onion in some olive oil on med high heat for 2 min. Add the jalapenos and cook another 2 min. Add the garlic and cook another 2 min. Remove from heat and add the bacon. Set aside. In a large pot, cook the pasta in boiling water until al dente. Drain and set aside, (I usually add olive oil so it doesn’t get sticky.) In a large sauce pan melt the butter over medium heat. Add the flour and stir to make a roux. Add the milk gradually and stir until thick and smooth. Stir in the cheeses one by one until melted into the sauce. Add the onions, garlic, jalapenos, and bacon. Stir. Season with salt and pepper. Pour cheese sauce over pasta and mix well. Transfer everything into a baking dish. Top with melted butter or olive oil mixed with panko and some extra cheese if you desire. Spread the crust on top of the dish and bake for about 20 min. Turn broiler on for the last 3-5 minutes to crisp the top. But don’t burn it. Smack and Cheese!

CaraMalcom Floyd Popcorn

Ingredients:
1 c butter
2 c brown sugar
½ c corn syrup
1 t salt
½ t baking soda
1 t vanilla
1 c peanuts
½ t cinnamon
1 T ginger root, minced (my secret ingredient)
¾ c popcorn kernels

Procedure:
Preheat oven to 250. Pop the popcorn on the stove. Heat some oil in a big pot on high. Throw a kernel in there. When it starts to bubble, add all of the kernels and cover the pot, shaking it around occasionally to evenly distribute the heat. You will hear the popping. When the noise dies down, remove the pot from the heat and set aside in a bowl. In a medium pot, melt the butter, brown sugar, and corn syrup over medium high heat. Stir and cook for a few minutes. Add the salt and ginger and stir well. Remove from the heat. Add the baking soda, vanilla, and cinnamon. Stir well to combine. Add the peanuts and stir to combine. Pour the mixture over bowl of popcorn and transfer to a baking sheet (don’t line with foil), in an even layer. Put the sheet in the oven and cook for an hour. Every 15 minutes, remove the sheet and quickly transfer the caramel popcorn to the bowl and then back to the sheet and return to the oven. This will make sure all of the popcorn is evenly coated. (So you do this four times.)

Eddie Kir Royale

Ingredients:
Champagne of choice (At my 32nd bday champagne tasting, the final rankings were: 1) Krug, 2) Cristal, 3) Veuve La Grande Dame, 4) Dom Perignon, 5) Taittinger)
Splash of crème de cassis (a little goes a long way here)

Procedure:
Pour a few drops of the cassis in a champagne flute. Sometimes I toss in whatever berries I have lying around. Top with the bubbly. For added bubbles, sip in a hot tub.

Now Man Up! And Chow Down!!

Monday Night Match Up Menus: Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins

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We’re on a liquid diet this week. All cocktails.

LeSean McCOysters Shooter

Oyster Shooter

LeSean McCoy - RB PHI

Brent Cazerak

Sazerac

Brent Celek - TE PHI

Asahi Samuel

Asahi Beer

Asante Samuel - CB PHI

Santana Mosscow Mule

Moscow Mule

Santana Moss - WR WAS

Killer Chris Cool-Aid

Killer Kool-Aid

Chris Cooley - TE WAS

Dom Perignon McNabb

Dom

Donovan McNabb - QB WAS

LeSean McCoyster Shooter

Ingredients:
1 raw oyster, shucked
1 oz chipotle vodka (I use hangar one)
1 squeeze lemon
1 splash tomato juice
1 splash hot sauce
Procedure:
Place oyster in shot glass. Top with vodka, lemon, tomato juice, and hot sauce. Shoot.

Brent Cazerak

Ingredients:
2 oz. rye whiskey
5 dashes bitters (combo of Peychaud’s and Angostura)
1 t simple syrup (sugar + water 1:1)
½ t pastis, absinthe, or herbsaint (I used Pernod because that’s my fave of the bunch.)
Lemon peel
Procedure:
Place all ingredients in a shaker. Pour into a tumbler. Garnish with peel.

Asahi Samuel

Open and drink!

Santana Mosscow Mule

Ingredients:
2 oz vodka
½ oz lime juice
2 oz ginger beer
Procedure:
Fill a copper mug with ice. Pour in the vodka, lime juice, and ginger beer. Stir.

Chris Killer Coolaid

Ingredients:
1 oz vodka
½ oz amaretto
½ oz pear liquor
splash cranberry Juice
splash of creme de cassis
1″ piece of melon
Procedure:
Muddle melon. Add ice. Add vodka, amaretto, pear, and cran. Stir. Sip.

Dom Perignon McNabb

Pop and pour. Tie one on. Know the rules of a tie.

Now, Man Up! And Drink Down!

Monday Night Match Up Menus: Steelers @ Bengals

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You’ve all heard about my Ben RoethlisBURGERS. We’re not doing that this week.

Salad: Romaine Gresham Salad with Tomatillo TerRelish Owens

Jermaine Gresham - TE CIN

Terrell Owens - WR CIN

Side: Hearts of Carson Palmer Slaw

Carson Palmer - QB CIN

Main: RaCharred Mendenhalibut

Rashard Mendenhall - RB PIT

Cocktail: Troy Cosmopolamalutan

Troy Polamalu - S PIT

Romaine Gresham Salad with Tomatillo TerRelish Owens

Ingredients:
1 lb tomatillos, husks removed and halved
1 small red onion, cut in 1″ chunks
3 garlic cloves
1 jalapeno, chopped
¼ c olive oil
½ c flat leaf parsley
1 lime, juiced and zested
celery seed
salt
pepper
2 hearts of romaine

Procedure:
Roast tomatillos, onions, and garlic at 425 for 20 min.

Transfer to food processor and add rest of ingredients.
Blend until desired chunkiness.

Cut each romaine heart lengthwise. SWOOPS* the cut side.
Heat grill pan to med high. Spray with non-stick spray. Grill 1-2 min until charred.

Remove from heat and spoon relish on top.
MMMM!
*SWOOPS = Season With Olive Oil Pepper and Salt

Hearts of Carson Palmer Slaw

Ingredients:
½ green cabbage, shredded
½ purple cabbage, shredded
½ pineapple, julienne
2 mangoes, julienne
6 stalks hearts of palm, julienne
1 bunch scallions, chopped
2 limes, juiced
salt
pepper

Procedure:
You’re welcome to cut the fruit in any shape you desire, but since there’s shredded cabbage involved and it’s a slaw, I like to keep everything relatively uniform in long strips. Combine all of the ingredients in a bowl and TOSS, TOSS, TOSS! (Ya, that’s “TWO-US” in my mother’s world.)

RaCharred Mendenhalibut

Ingredients:
4 halibut steaks (about ½ lb each)
olive oil
salt
pepper

Procedure:
SWOOPS Halibut. (Season With Olive Oil Pepper and Salt) Both sides. Grill on med high heat until charred and just cooked through, about 4 minutes per side. Remove from grill and serve on a bed of the slaw and top with the relish.

Troy Cosmopolamalutan

I forgot to photograph mine before I drank it... here's an example of what it should look like.

Ingredients:
2 oz. vodka
½ lime, juiced
½ oz – splash of cranberry juice
½ oz – splash of Curacao
1 slice of an apple
curly piece of citrus peel

Procedure:
Mix the vodka, lime juice, cranberry juice, and Curacao in a cocktail shaker with ice.
Sift drink without the ice into a martini glass. Don’t spill – Martini glasses are the stilettos of barware: Best looking. Least Functional.
Fork the apple slice into the prongs of a PICK and stick it in the drink. If you own Steelers D, this ceremony increases the chances of a Polamalu pick.
Drink through a CURLY straw. Garnish with a citrus CURL.

Now MAN UP! And CHOW DOWN!!

Monday Night Match Up Menus: Texans @ Colts

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Here’s what’s on the menu:
Lots of love for the receiving core.

Bacon Wrapped Kevin Walter Chestnuts

Kevin Walter - WR HOU

Veggie Wayne – Joseph PadThai

Joseph Addai - RB IND

Reggie Wayne - WR IND

FLANdre Johnson

Andre Johnson - WR HOU

Dallas Clark and Stormy

Dallas Clark - TE IND

Bacon Wrapped Kevin Walter Chestnuts

Ingredients:
1 can water chestnuts, drained and soaked in soy sauce overnight.
½ lb. bacon (sliced in half)
½ c mayo
¼ c brown sugar
1 T tomato paste
1 t Worcestershire
2 T soy sauce
1 t garlic, minced
2 T lemon juice

Procedure:
Preheat oven to 350.
Cut your strips of bacon widthwise so they are half as long. Take a water chestnut and wrap a strip of bacon around it. Place the wrapped chestnut in a pan seam side down. Repeat until the pan is full. Bake for 40 min.

While the bacon wrapped water chestnut are cooking, combine the rest of the ingredients in a bowl and mix well.
After about 40 min, remove the pan from the oven and pour the sauce from the bowl evenly on top so all of the bacon wrapped water chestnuts are well covered. Return the pan to the oven and cook for another 15-20 min.

Sauced and Ready for Round 2 in the Oven


Remove from oven. Remove the bacon wrapped water chestnuts and place them on a paper towel lined plate to drain the excess grease.
Let cool and serve!

Veggie Wayne Joseph Pad Thai

Ingredients:
water on hand
2 T tamarind paste
4 T fish sauce
2 T sugar (I used coconut)
½ t chili paste
10 oz. rice noodles
14 oz tofu extra firm (pressed in towel and weighted for an hour, then marinated in soy and SWOOPS* overnight.)
4 T peanut oil
½ c scallions, chopped
2 T garlic, minced
2 T shallots, minced
2 eggs
½ c cabbage
¼ c carrots, peeled and chopped
½ c bok coy, sliced
1 c mushrooms, sliced
½ c bean sprouts
½ c peanuts, chopped (or cashews)
1 lime
*SWOOPS – Season With Olive Oil Salt and Pepper

Procedure:
To make the sauce, combine the fish sauce, sugar, tamarind, and chili paste in a bowl.
Soak the noodles in a bowl with warm water until they’re soft, about 12 min. Drain them and set them aside.
Slice the tofu into little pieces, your shape of choice. I do about 2 inch spears.


Heat the oil in a wok.
Cook the scallions, carrots, bok choy, mushrooms and cabbage while stirring and tossing (pronounce that like my mother does with her NY accent: TOSS = “two” + “us”)

Add the shallots and garlic. TOSS!
Crack the eggs right into the wok, making sure none of the shell falls in. Let them set for a minute and then scramble them in with the rest of the veggies.

Add the noodles. TOSS!

Add the sauce. TOSS!
Add the bean sprouts and nuts. TOSS. TOSS. TOSS.

Squeeze the lime at the end and serve!

FLANdre Johnson!

Ingredients:
¾ c sugar
1 T water
2 T coconut rum
2 c milk
1 c cream
1 c coconut milk
3 eggs
2 yolks
1 c sugar
1 t vanilla
pinch of salt

Procedure:
Preheat the oven to 325.
In a small sauce pan on med heat, cook the ¾ c sugar, 1 T water, and 2 T cocounut rum. Stir to combine them well and then don’t touch it. You will see it start to bubble and brown. When it is a golden caramel colored liquid, remove it from the heat and pour it into the bottom of whatever flan shaped container you want to use. (You can make one big one or smaller ones in ramekins.)

In a large bowl, wisk together the eggs, sugar, pinch salt, vanilla.
Then slowly stir in the milk, cream, and coconut milk. Wisk well.

Pour the mixture through a sieve into another bowl. This strains out the egg white membranes and gives the flan a smoother consistency.
Pour the custard on top of the caramel in the containers.
Now you have to place the containers in a hot water bath.
Boil some water in a kettle. Place a big pan on a shelf in the oven. Place the flan containers in the pan being careful not to spill. Then pour the hot kettle water into the big pan so the flan containers are surrounded in the water, but don’t get any water in the flan containers. Slowly slide the oven tray in. Bake the flans for about 45 minutes (depending on what shape/size containers you use). You should be able to stick a toothpick in the center and remove it cleanly. Remove from the oven and chill for at least 4 hours. Once cooled, slide a knife along the edges to loosen the custard, put a plate on top of them upside down, and flip! Lift flan container and they should now be on the plate with the caramel sauce running down the sides. Done!

Dallas Clark and Stormy

Ingredients:
2 oz. Goslings dark rum
1 oz. ginger beer (must be ginger beer, not ale!)
Procedure:
Fill a tumbler with ice. Pour the rum in the glass and top with the ginger beer. Stir. Best enjoyed while the sun is setting in Montauk, NY.

The Final Meal

Lazy Ox Down and Dirty

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I had an awesome girls dinner at Lazy Ox. Here are some snippets from the evening:
Lizelette: Have you been to Rivera?
Jordan: Yes, it was amazing. I went there on a Jdate.
Alex: Which one?
Jordan: The one where I was a dirty little whore.
Sarah, who was either half listening or just distracted by how good our Siduri Pinot was, heard only part of that.
Sarah: I need to add “Dirty Little Whore” to my list of places to go!
Jordan: No, lovey, the place is Rivera, I’m the dirty little whore!
P.S. Thank you to Alex and Lizelette for pretending to see that as a specific Jdate identifier.

Here’s what we had:
Bellwether Farms Ricotta Fritters with saffron honey – to appease the waiting from the kitchen, nice touch, our table wasn’t that late.
Dashi Marinated Yellowtail with avocado, hash brown & tonburi – this was the best
Lengua Ravioli – second favorite
Bone Marrow Special with lentils – amazeballs
Lamb Neck Hash with toasted quinoa & fried jidori egg
Beef Cheeks – yum
Heirloom Tomatoes with cheese, torn basil & corn pudding
Beet Salad
Rice Pudding
Temporary Insanity Tempranillo
Great meal, can’t wait to go back!

Lizelette, Alex, Jordan, and Sarah at Lazy Ox Canteen

Words With Friends. And Family. At Mas.

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The other day I got a call from my mother.
“What the eff game did you send Dad for the iPhone? He’s obsessed with it, he plays it all day long (pronouned oohwall day loo-wong).”
“Oh, I sent him an invite to play Words With Friends – Scrabble for iPhone, but he hasn’t accepted my game request, is he just playing with strangers?”
“He’s playing with strangers All Day Long!!”
So I sent my dad another request now that he had downloaded the software.
He accepts the game and sends me a message “No Mercy!”
Today we were discussing where to to for dinner when I get into town on Wednesday for a belated bday celebration for my dad. He wanted to go to Del Posto but couldn’t get in.
I told him to pick another restaurant and went to go turn the ALCS Game 3 on.
He goes, “OK, but what happened to that scrabble game we had going?”
I said I was busy with football yesterday but will make a move later.
“You’re leaving me too many open spots, Jordan!”
“I’m still winning, Dad.”
“Yeah, we’ll see!”
He decided on a repeat restaurant, Mas.
The last time we were at Mas was for its soft opening. My dear high school friend’s brother is part owner and we all got a table during the debut evening. We noticed a man at a neighboring table with a bottle of Sine Qua Non Ox (their 1999 pinot noir) and ooh and aahed over it. Apparently he caught wind of this and we were soon greeted with three glasses of the stuff. I all but sat on his lap in thanks. This time we brought our own, along with the 98 vintage – Veiled.
I surprisingly liked the Veiled better…
While the Veiled was my favorite part of the wine portion of the evening, one of the highlights of the conversation was the followng:
I was discussing how I had quite a few friends going through separations and I heard from someone who majored in Sociology, that studies show the hardest years of marriage to get past are 4, 7, and 24.
“24!!!” both of my parents screamed out in unison agreement.
“24-40!” they added.
Happy Birthday, Dad!

The Zuckers at Mas - (pre Jordan WWF victory)

Much Ado, about Matthew

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Last night, my friend Brig and I had post football dinner (Advantage LA) at Ado on Main St. It was Van Gough’s Ear when I first moved to town. Then it was something else, then it was Amuse, which was great but closed due to liquor licenses or stairway permits, blah blah blah. Now it’s Ado, pronounced AAAAAH-dough, named after chef Antonio Mure’s partner’s Grandpa from Sicily.
Turns out I’ve been following Antonio around town. He hung out with me and Brig and we closed the place down. I picked up a little on his history in the process.
He started out at Piccolo – where 5 Dudley was.
I went there one year for my bday goals dinner with Matt.
(Now I digress)
Matt is what you’d call “my gay best friend” in layman’s terms. But that implies that I met him out one night being fabulous and we quickly formed a Carrie Bradshaw-Stanford Blatch relationship. This is NOT the case. Matt is actually one of my closest friends. His mother was my first grade teacher, I was a year behind him in school. I was her favorite student and since she’s reading this and that’s undiplomatic of me to say, I’ll rephrase. She was overwhelmingly impressed with my feat of winning the bookworm contest by half a classroom length, (aka landslide), and thus began a lovely relationship of mutual respect and admiration. Matt and I both did plays, GIA (government in action), and SGA (student government action), (Yes, hi, I’m a nerd.) in high school. We both went to Penn, and we both then moved out to LA. He was the only person I knew when I moved out here. I see it too, we’ve lived eerily parallel lives.  So he’s basically one of my best friends, who happens to be gay. (a slight variation of my gay best friend…) We also both have January birthdays.
So we started a tradition of doing a birthday dinner. We pick a hot new place to dine and go out for a meal and each treat the other. Which means we split the bill as if it were any other night out, but it’s cuter this way. Matt came up with the idea to do “goals” at each dinner, so starting in 2000, we brought paper, envelopes, and pens each year. We listed goals we wished to set out to accomplish by the end of the year, sealed them up in an envelope, and then opened the envelope from the previous year and checked off what was achieved. Sometimes we’d give each other freebies, just to boost our ego being able to cross one off. e.g. I listed “Scan goals in case there’s a fire.” and it seriously took me until the night before we had our next dinner to get them in. But I did it!
Incidentally I embarrass Matt EVERY time we go out, bday dinner or otherwise. At Piccolo I believe there was an incident where I was sharing desserts with one of the four other tables in the tiny restaurant and the whole place was singing to us come candle time. Amazing meal.
Then at La Botte there was controversy over how much wine to order (a bottle to split, right??!) And I succumbed to Matt’s protest and ordered a half bottle, only to open up my envelope from last year and look at goal #1. DO NOT LET MATT TALK YOU INTO ONLY ORDERING A HALF BOTTLE OF WINE!!! IT’S NOT ENOUGH!!! I couldn’t cross that one off, but it was worth it for the fifteen minutes of hysterics it sent us in when I read it aloud. CLASSIC, no? Fab Italian, again, but the cozy ambiance of Piccolo wasn’t as strong.
Anyway, last night I had dinner plans with a girlfriend (yes, Brig, if you’re following) after watching football on the Colston Couch (only people who own Marques Colston in their fantasy football leagues can sit on it during football). I had been wanting to try Ado for a while so we met there at 9pm. It was winding down, but we sat downstairs and it was the intimate environment we were craving. Conversations with the neighboring tables, (Brig was supposed to meet the people next to us some how…) closing the place down, hanging with the chef, finishing up his Passito (Italian dessert wine) and Pastiera Nopolitana (ridiculous ricotta dessert with orange blossom water) with him before we all headed home, and a delicious meal. My ideal evening. Thanks, Antonio!!

Antonio and Jordan enjoy the Passito

Monday Night Match Up Menus: Tennessee Titans at Jacksonville Jaguars

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This Monday, the division rival party is in northern Florida (but southern USA) as the Jacksonville Jaguars host fellow below Mason/Dixon liners, the Tennessee Titans.
Our menu is as follows:
First Down: David Garrartichoke Dip – what’s football without a dip?

Second Down: Blueberry Blintze Young – my favorite named dish. I’m as proud of that one as I am of a 119 pt. word in words with friends.

Third Down: Chocolate Fig Apple Chrisp Johnson – This one’s really cool because each Chris Johnson run burns the calories off of this dish. Sweet, right?

Fourth Down: Mike Pimms Cup Walker – toast and catch a high ball.

David Garrartichoke Dip:

David Garrartichoke Dip

Ingredients:
1 clove garlic, chopped
1 onion, chopped
2 cans (14 oz each) artichoke hearts, chopped
6 oz cream cheese
1/3 c sour cream
1/3 c mayonnaise
½ c Parmesan, grated
½ t red pepper flakes
2 T parsley, chopped
2 T oregano, chopped
salt
pepper

 

Procedure:
Preheat oven to 375.
Saute onions and garlic until translucent.
Combine with the rest of ingredients in a big bowl and pour mixture into a greased baking dish.
Bake until bubbly (about 20 min).
Serve warm with chips of choice.

COMPLETION!!

Bluberry Blintze Young

You ready to tackle the Blintze Young? You wanna Blitz the Blintze? OK, I’ll stop. This blintze is going to be well covered. One more, C’mon!

Crepe Batter
Ingredients:
1 c milk
4 T cold water
2 eggs
1 c all-purpose flour
1 T sugar
¼ t salt
¼ c unsalted butter, melted

Directions:
Combine the milk, water, eggs, flour, sugar, and salt in a blender. Blend until smooth. Add butter and blend it to incorporate. Refrigerate the batter for at least 1 hour to let it rest. I usually let it sit over night.

The crepe is flipped

Put an 10-inch crepe pan or nonstick skillet over medium heat and brush with a little melted butter. Pour a ladle full of batter into the pan and tilt the pan around so there is an even layer of the batter, (a method I call “pinball pan batter”). Cook for 30 to 45 seconds, until the batter sets. Flip the crepe. If you have time, you can practice flipping just with a HAIL MARY! flick of the pan. Or, if you’re Farve and you’re afraid you’ll just throw a pick, use a spatula. If you slide a spatula underneath (centrally), lift, and twist it 180 quickly, it should fall evenly pan in the pan. The crepes should be floppy, not crispy, and just browning. Slide them onto a platter and continue making the crepes until all the batter is used. (This makes about 8 crepes.)

Cheese Filling
Ingredients:
10 oz. ricotta cheese (fresh is better – much smoother consistency, the grocery store ones get grainy)
4 oz. cream cheese
3 T sugar
1 lemon, zested and finely grated
2 T butter, melted
1 egg

Procedure:
In a food processor, combine all ingredients. Chill the filling for about an hour to firm it up. (I make it the night before with the batter…)

Blueberry Sauce
Ingredients:
2 T butter
2 pints blueberries
½ c sugar
1 t cornstarch
1 lemon, juiced
½ t vanilla extract

Procedure:
Combine the butter, blueberries, sugar, cornstarch, and lemon juice in a small pot over medium-high heat. Bring up to a low boil and stir gently until the berries break down but are still chunky. Let it cool to thicken up.

Assembly:
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Forming the blintzes is kind of like making mini wraps or burritos.
Spoon 2 T (heaping) of the cheese filling at the part of the crepe closest to you.

Fold the bottom edge away from you to just cover the filling; then fold the 2 sides in to the center.

Roll the crepe away from you a couple of times to make a cute little log package.

Place blintzes in a baking dish and bake for 10 min.

Spoon the blueberry sauce on top. I personally think powdered sugar is for pussies, but it’s your blintze, put whatever you want on top.
Look at you, you’ve sacked the Blintze Young!

Blueberry Blintze Young

Chocolate Fig Apple Crisp

Titans RB Chris Johnson who averaged as the #1 draft pick has been quietly showing up to work and leading the league with 6 rushing touchdowns through the first five games.
In other news, strawberry season is over. The carton I bought yesterday turned moldy on the way home from the Whole Foods just down the block.
It’s football season, people, get to know and love the fig.

Chocolate Fig Apple Chrisp Johnson


Ingredients:
5 oz white chocolate chunks (I used a serrated knife on a block of chocolate)
5 oz milk chocolate chunks (same method, hi.)
12 oz (two boxes) black mission figs
2 sweet apples, cubed
1 ½ t tapioca, granulated
1 lemon, juiced
1 T lemon zest
pinch of salt
½ c white sugar
¾ c brown sugar
1 ½ c all purpose flour
½ c almond flour*
1 ¾ sticks butter, frozen (in small pieces – cut into T and then cut into 9 little ¼ “ pieces or so)
1 t almond extract

Procedure:
Preheat oven to 375.
In a 9 x 12 baking pan, add chocolate, fruit, tapioca, lemon juice, ¼ c sugar, and lemon zest. TOSS! Make sure all contents are evenly distributed.
Place sugars and flours and extract into a food processor and pulse until well combined. Add ½ of the butter pieces and pulse about ten times. Repeat with the rest of the butter until the dough is forming. If it is too dry, add a t of water.
Spread the dough on top of the berry mixture in the pan.
PLEASE PUT 30 MIN ON THE CLOCK!!
Bake on center rack for 30-35 minutes. The crumb should be golden brown and the berries should be bubbling. Remove from oven and let cool for about 15 minutes. Can be served hot or cold. You may want to add a cream to it (heavy, ice, whipped, etc.) or some yogurt when serving.
* To make almond four: grind 1 c whole raw almonds in a food processor until a grainy flour like consistency is obtained.

SCORE!!

Mike Pimms Cup Walker

Mike Pimms Cup Walker

Ingredients:
2 oz. Pimms
1 t lemon juice
½ Persian cucumber, par peeled (leaving a few stripes of green skin) and sliced into discs
splash Ginger Beer (NOT ginger ale! Cough, amateur!)
Apple garnish optional

Procedure:
Muddle the cucumbers in a high ball. (HOW on earth, did I live my life without a muddler until this year?!?!)
Squeeze in the lemon. Add ice. Add Pimms. Top with ginger beer. Stir. Garnish. Drink. Win.

Now MAN UP, AND CHOW DOWN!

Monday Night Match Up Menus on GG2FF (Patriots @ Dolphins)

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Here are the recipes from this past week’s Monday Night Match Up Menus on GG2FF.

TOMato Bready

Topping with TOMatoes

Ingredients:
1 packet of yeast
1 c warm water
2 1/2 c flour (approx.)
1 t honey (because the yeast feeds on sugar)
1 t salt
1/2 c olive oil
2 T fresh rosemary, chopped
cornmeal
4 heirloom tomatoes, sliced
2 T fresh basil, chopped
3 garlic cloves, chopped

Procedure:
Preheat oven to 425. In a glass cup, add the yeast, warm water, and honey, and stir until the yeast dissolves. Let it sit a minute or two. In a large bowl, add half the olive oil, salt, and 1/2 c flour. Then add yeast mixture and stir with a wooden spoon vigorously until combined. Slowly add flour, half cup at a time, until dough is formed and ready (not sticky). You may not use all of the flour. It varies every time depending on many things such as humidity. Wash bowl. Add 1 T olive oil. Put dough in a ball and coat it. Cover bowl with a dish towel. Let dough rest and rise for at least 30 minutes. Punch it down.
Sprinkle cornmeal onto a baking sheet and press dough into it until thin.
Spread olive oil over top.
Sprinkle with garlic.
Place a layer of tomatoes on top to cover the dough, but leave a “crust” around edges.
SWOOPS! (Season With Olive Oil Pepper and Salt)
Bake for 20-25 minutes until pizza crust is golden and tomatoes are slightly shriveled.
See! Now you’re all hard-core bakers and bread makers!

TOMato Bready out of the oven

Bill BeliChicken Parmesan

Ingredients:
4 chicken breasts, skinless, boneless
½ c flour
2 large eggs
1 T water
1 c breadcrumbs
½ c parsley
¼ c oregano, chopped
¼ c rosemary, chopped
¼ c basil, chopped
8 oz ball of mozzerella cheese, sliced
8 oz burrata cheese, sliced
1 1/2 c parm, grated
4 c my 12 –min tomato sauce (or any genius tomato sauce)
olive oil
salt
pepper

Procedure:
Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.
Put the chicken breasts side by side on a flat surface (e.g. cutting board or counter), and place between two sheets of plastic wrap. Pound the chicken breasts with a meat tenderizer (or the back of a cast iron pan if you don’t have one) until they are about 1/2-inch thick. Put the flour in a shallow bowl and season with a fair amount of salt and pepper; mix with a fork to distribute evenly. In another wide bowl, combine the eggs and water and beat until frothy. Put the breadcrumbs in a third bowl season with salt and pepper, ¼ c parmesan, and the herbs (parsley, oregano, rosemary, basil) and mix.
Heat 3 tablespoons of olive oil in a skillet over medium-high. Now we go wet-dry-wet-dry. Lightly dredge both sides of the wet chicken cutlets in the dry seasoned flour. Shake off excess flour. Then dip them in the wet egg wash to coat completely, again letting the excess drip off. Then dredge in the dry seasoned bread crumbs. When the oil is nice and hot, add the cutlets and fry for 4-5 minutes on each side until golden and crusty, flipping once.
While the chicken is getting crisp, put a layer of tomato sauce in a baking dish.
Place chicken in a baking pan over the sauce.
Do another layer of the tomato sauce over the chicken.
Sprinkle a layer of parmesan cheese.
Then a layer of mozzarella and burrata.
Bake the Chicken Parmesan for 20 minutes or until the cheese is bubbly.

Bill Belichicken Parm

Chad Penne Pasta Salad

Assembling the Chad Penne Pasta Salad

Ingredients:
1 box penne pasta
4 c chopped tomatoes
1 1/2 c scallions
2 cup carrots, chopped
6 oz. spinach leaves
1 c Smoked gouda, cubed
salt
pepper
olive oil
lemon juice

Procedure:
Cook pasta, drain. Combine with all other ingredients and TOSS! (One of my favorite activities is making fun of my mother’s NY accent. “Toss” is one of her best. She pronounces is like the number 2, plus “us.” TWO-US!

TOSS TOSS TOSS!!

Tequila Lime Rickey Williams
I feel like I should be using a pot leaf to garnish this drink, but that joke is so two years ago.

Ingredients:
6 grapes, halved, muddled
2 T lime juice
2 oz. tequila, good, silver
club soda, splash

Procedure:
In a high ball, add and muddle the grapes. Then add the lime juice and fill the glass with ice. Add the tequila and a splash of soda.
Stir, stir, stir. Enjoy!

Not Ricky's most famous form of self-medication...

The Table at the Arclight

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I’ve mentioned that the Arclight is my go-to movie theater in LA.
What I haven’t mentioned is that it’s my go-to theater ALBEIT the bathroom hooks that I need a step stool or a black Achilles heel to reach. #femalebathroomsclearlydesignedbymen.
Anyway, I went to see The Social Network last night with a fellow Sorkin fan. We already wanted to see the movie over again after the opening scene. I, predictably, was equipped with a bottle of vino. This time I brought a Cabernet Sauvignon from Sonoma called The Table.

Thumbs up for the movie, the wine, and the company.