Not Vibing Our Compatability

So I went on a date with this guy. We were set up by a mutual friend whom I had hung out with in NYC over NYE.
I was on the master cleanse so we just went for tea at Urth Caffe. He was super cute. He’s on the short side, but look who’s talking (not an issue). He was smart, sweet, and easy to talk to. But, he wasn’t very flirty or playful.
“OK,” I thought to myself, “this is an adult relationship. We sit and talk and get to know each other. We don’t just use sexual energy to connect. Or booze, or music.” (though I do want to connect in those areas too at some point…)
After an hour, he abruptly decided he needed to go back to work.
“Don’t take it personally, Jordan, you’re just sober.” I thought to myself.
“OK,” I said, “But can you drive me home, please? I walked, and I get cold on this liquid lemon shit. Also, FYI, I’m a big drinker, don’t get the wrong idea about me on the cleanse. The next time you see me, I’m going to be loaded,” I (half) joked.
He took me home. Thanks, bye.
I told my friend who set us up that I liked him and I thought it went well. You know, open to getting to know him better.
Well, I may as well have been drunk. I was that wrong.
After taking a few days to decide how to handle my friend request on facebook and email I had sent to follow up on a discussion topic we had over the tea, I get the following facebook message:
Hey Jordan
I got your email but in the flurry of my fire drill day at work i think i deleted it cuz i can’t find it right now
anywho . . . it was good to meet you and break tea. I’m a straight shooter and seeing as this was an evident set up by Mr. XXX I figured I should relay that I’m not really vibing our compatibility . . .
but i love your spunk and a+ go-getter and creative attitude. it was fun to meet you and to share stories. crazy our mary and lisa connections.
I’m sure we will connect again and/or I’ll see you on a screen, big or small, sometime soon.\

So I wrote back, “Oh, no! Is it because I’m such a drinker?!?!”

React as you will. But I MUCH prefer and appreciate being told upfront that he’s not interested than just being blown off, which most men find an acceptable and desirable course of action. His honesty and maturity is refreshing and kind of classy, no? This may be harsh, but it’s not nearly as rude. Moving on.

Blind Date Text

This isn’t exactly food, booze, or music related, but it’s too good not to post. I also realize that I’ll probably have more dating scenarios to share so I’ve decided to extend Cocktails into Cock Tales and include men in that category. We’ll also give it to music since I mention a few shows on my calendar.

Here’s the premise. This guy Dave called me to go out on a blind date. He couldn’t even properly identify himself when he called.

“Hi Jordan, I’m Dave, Esther’s cousin. She gave me your number to set us up.”

“Oh, OK,” I said, (My mother often mentions giving my number to some people who “might have a guy for me” so this type of call is never completely unexpected.) “Esther who?”

“Um, I don’t know her maiden name but her married name is ___ .” (something I had never heard of…)

“OK, well there’s my mother’s friend, Esther Goodman?”


“There’s my friend here in LA who just got married, Esther Weinberg?”


“Well those are the only Esthers I know, unless it’s my dead Grandma Esther?  Or are you from Purim?!?!”

“No, I’ll find out from her, in the meantime, do you want to grab a drink when you’re in NYC?”

So I generously agreed to an earlyish drink on the Friday I get to town. We would firm up plans closer to the date. Now, when I’m being set up, I am happy to meet with anyone you’re suggesting… but for a drink, or a coffee, or something quick. You don’t get my entire evening unless I’ve already met you. That’s how these blind set ups work!

The following is a word for word transcription of our text message exchange that started the night before we were supposed to meet. For the first time!! (I think I dodged a bullet.)

Hi Jordan,
It’s David Rosenschweig (Esther Elmer’s* cousin) we spoke on the phone a few wks ago. Are we on 4 2mrrow nite as per our conversation assuming ur in town?
(* turns out said Esther was a year ahead of me in high school, hadn’t spoken to her since. Her brother is my year and my mother knew their mother and recently ran into her in the city.)

Yes.  Do you want to meet at bar jamon at 7pm? 17th and Irving.

Sure. Jamon is fine, can u do 08:00pm? Looking fwd to meeting you

I’m going to see God Street Wine at Irving at 8.

Ok, How about we make it for Sat. Nite?

I’m busy sat night but could get coffee sat afternoon. Noonish.

Saturday I’m busy till late afternoon.
How long are you in town for?

10 days.
What time do u get out of work? I can do Monday before 8pm.

Great, would you like to meet grab a drink any evening except Tues.(I’ve got class/wrkshop) when you won’t be “double booked” or have a nxt appt. An hour?

What time do u get out of work? I can do Monday before 8pm.

I won’t know depends on how the day goes each appt. Is different some days 6, 7pm plus by the time I walk my dog 07:00 is not realistic.

How about a coffee during lunch one day?
Or on Monday u are welcome to meet me at city winery at 8pm. Seeing calexico.

Jordan, I’d like to meet u, & am willing to meet u any evening excpt one(Tues.nite) despite that u double booked our date set 3-4 wks ago. Let me kw.

I didn’t double book our date. I was planning to meet you tonight at 7. Don’t think meeting up is going to work. Sorry.

And u communicated that you’d have 1hr 7pm-8pm to meet when? I get that ur time’s limited. Don’t make up ur own version of events its silly. Good luck to you.

Please don’t contact me again. Tx.

Plse never contact me again.

— Last names have been altered for privacy purposes